Be Do Have

Most of us understand "Have", things that we desire in our lives, life goals, aims. Stuff that dreams are made of. And those of us who achieve our "Haves", we are normally good at the "Do". Do involves preparing good plans, setting up steps, processes and yardsticks to achieve our "Haves". However, quite of a few of us, after the initial exhilaration of achievement, we question "Is this all?" and in our quest to find the answer, start on another cycle of Doing and Having. On and on, until one day, we come to realise that we are like a guinea pig peddling crazily in a wheel but getting nowhere at all.


It was not until Kate* shared with me the cycle of Be-Do-Have that the scales dropped from my eyes. Yes, "Be" is the missing link. Why do we choose to do what we are doing? What meaning does it bring to us as a person? Not only will the clarity of Being give us a sense of deeper purpose but it would the continuous well of energy that we can tap into to keep going strong when things are not going our way.


Next time before we start on another quest, take a moment to figure out who you want to be, even before you start to think of what you want to have and how you can achieve it. Like Kate advised 

"Focus on the being first, then the doing and the having will come to you".

*Kate Mo is a young lady in her 20s and she has the wisdom of one way beyond her years. She was the first to help me understand Be-Do-Have and how to apply it in life and at work

Through the looking glass

"The I Ching does not vaunt itself, nor is it easy to approach. Like a part of nature, it waits to be discovered. To one person, its spirit appears as clear as day; to another, shadowy as twilight; to a third, as dark as night." C.G. Jung on the I Ching -Book of Changes as translated by Richard Wilhelm (1950)

Through regular study of  the 64 hexagrams of I Ching, I have not only gain insights into how a Chinese mind works, but am amazed that 5,000 years after its first written, the words of wisdom in the book is ever fresh in applicability and practicality. It counsels one to be even-tempered and tread carefully, thoughtfully (#10), suggests another to take a step back to view the situation from a wider perspective (#33) and encourages a third to be brave and set forth to make his dreams come true (#46).

But one thing that comes to mind often, I am reminded of Professor Fred Dubee's words "We see things not as they are but as we are" and I wonder if I am reading the I Ching or I am reading my own thoughts mirrored by the I Ching.

Rain or shine

One of the songs we are taught in kindergarten is "rain rain go away, come back on another day", giving rain a bad name and making us into little sun worshippers.
Thankfully, as I grew older, I learnt to appreciate rain more and more. It's refreshing qualities, its instant relief in a sweltering summer heat, and even its ability to turn a walk in the drizzle, a romantic stroll.
Funny thing is, rain has never changed in all these years. It still makes my nice shoes wet, the ends of my jeans soaked or my hair damp and frizzy. But what has changed is my mindset. My ability to stop judging something as good or bad, but just to take it as it is and make the best out of the situation. Come rain or shine, it is yet another beautiful day worth embracing.

Eat not at home

The I-Ching 易经 first made itself known to me some years ago, but no matter how hard I tried to read it for enlightenment, the words were spun so tightly together with references to dragons, forts, princes and sages that it might as well have been written in Aramaic*.


And recently, it once again re-surfaced in my life. Instead of reading it like a novel, this time I asked the book a question and the answer came back so stark and simple that the 5,000 years between us melted away. Gone were the convoluted references to flying dragons or heavenly mountains. At that point in life, I was dithering between an opportunity locally and one overseas. The I Ching simply stated "Not eating at home brings good fortune, it furthers one to cross the great water". I gaped in wonder at the clarity of advice, almost like an instruction barked out by a sergeant to a cadet. And a week later, I packed my bags to "try the food across those waters". 
So far so good. 


Besides the food on this side of the planet seemed to taste better than my homecooked instant noodles anyway!


* Aramaic - considered an endangered language. Cartoon:Hanging on the rack are roast goose, barbeque pork, roast pork, steam chicken, a typical Hong Kong "烧味  siu mei" fare. The cat (me) gives up eating fish (something familiar) to try the new (烧味). Nice.

The phantom is here

The bear and I watched the Phantom of the Opera more times than we can count.  Each time as enthralled as the last, with sounds of the chandeliers crashing to the ground still ringing in our ears!


Not all phantoms give me the same delight. In fact I can think of a few lurking around (mainly inside my mind) that scares me silly. Sickness, not realising one's dreams, pettiness; amongst the few. 


It was until I read Heraclitus' wise words "It is disease that makes health pleasant, hunger than makes fullness good, weariness that makes rest sweet", I started to view some of my phantoms a little differently.  Instead of being destroyers of a beautiful life, one day I hope to be able to appreciate them the way Heraclitus' sees his phantoms, to make a beautiful life even sweeter and better. One day.

Take me back to me

One of my favourite books is called Simple Abundance. A book of about 2 inches thick, my bear always laughs when he sees me reading it, because "how can a thick book like that be simple?", the bear challenges. But wait. The simplicity lies not in the physical lightness of the book, but lies in the lightness of the inspiration and the illumination received from the ideas. It highlights some simple pleasures in life that we have thrown aside as our calendars get really crowded, our lives get more sophisticated and when demands pile mercilessly upon us.

On most Saturday mornings, with the heavy book tucked in the crook of my arm, a box of pencil colours and my diary, I would sit out at the meditation pond opposite my home and let the book gently take over my time; and take me back to me.

Simple Abundance - A Daybook of Comfort & Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I dont know how many pages is this book because it does not have any page numbers!

Soaking up all the good things of life

Tis' the season to be hairy

We used to wonder what's the craze about hairy crabs. All over China during late autumn, these little critters with furry claws (the crabs look like they are wearing dark woolen mittens) sell for as much as RMB100 each. For a crab as big as your fist, surely one must be crazy to pay so much. But hey wait, they are twice to triple the price by the time they make it to the dining tables in prosperous Hong Kong.


This year we decided to travel up north to meet the crabs in their hometown - Yangcheng Lake, about one and a half hours drive from the glittering towers of Shanghai. A small town bordering Yangcheng Lake, Bacheng in Kunshan is lined with, literally, thousands of hairy crab restaurants. Yes, thousands!


Advice received from fellow hairy crab revellers:
1. Choose crabs that are staring fiercely back at you, literally waving their eyes at you at the end of the stalks. Frothing even better.
2. When the dark green crabs turn to tangerine orange in the steamer, it is fully cooked.
3. To eat, peel off the top shell, the bottom half of the back shell. Holding it upside down, make sure to scrape away the grey stuff and remove the heart, a hexagonal shaped white star.
4. Use the vinegar dip. Savour the roe. Mmmm.
5. End meal with yellow wine for the brave, or cups of hot ginger tea for the gentle.


The best season for hairy crabs is from early Sept to late Oct.  

Homecoming

In a humid Chinese factory bigger than 10 football fields, I looked out across the sea of black-haired heads bent studiously over the work bench. Fingers furiously sticking pieces of Nike ticks and bits of material onto a sneaker destined for faraway places. It was there I had an epiphany.


400 years ago, my ancestor(s) mustered up enough courage to sail away from home, seeking a land of gold, never to return. 400 years later, with only a Chinese name on my birth certificate and 6* Chinese characters as my worldly possession and claim to return to my ancestors' motherland, I arrived home. 


What a glorious feeling. What a strange feeling. I suppose the mix feelings is only natural if you have been away for four centuries.


* The 6 characters are one, two, three and my own name written in Chinese which translates roughly (and poetically humourous) as "think of the smiling flower when drinking soup".